Pictures

You’ve been back with your birth mother for 10 months, 3 days and 9 hours, but who’s counting?

I am. 

I think of you every single day. Wondering what you are doing. Who are you with? Are you laughing or scared?

I know I need to trust Jesus. That is what everyone tells me. Some days those words point me to Jesus. Other days I want to tell the truth tellers to shut up. 

Everyday I glance at one of your pictures we have peppered in your former home. Sometimes I smile and talk to you like you are there. Other times I tear up and talk to you because you are not. 

Should I take your pictures down?

Does my new foster care worker or friends see your pictures on my fire mantel and privately think “She’s holding out false hope or not dealing with reality?”

Does it matter what they think?

Your pictures may someday be put in a less prominent place in my home but you will never be forgotten in my heart. I may not be your birth momma, but I definitely was your momma. And a proud one. 

Thank you for being such a joy to us.