Spotlight

It’s Tuesday morning. You go to the library toddler time as usual. You can tell your foster is a bit off today, but you hope to Jesus he’s not. 

You wish you could ask him, “Peanut, can we do a secret foster mom-son handshake that says we are going to blend today?” 

At the library blending is bypassed and the screams start. You feel the mom stares from every angle. “Thank God my child doesn’t act like that.”

Your adult tantrum inside voice. “He’s a foster, dang it! Don’t judge me.” 

You want to shout his story and yours so you feel better. 

“Can I please justify his actions to make me look like a good mom?”

His meltdown reasons are none of their business.

His story is not for these moms to know. Let him be your son today and not a foster. 

Being in the spotlight highlights your self-protective heart. 

As a foster parent you will be misunderstood and judged. To love this little one the way he needs to be loved, that has to be okay. 

Him not being like your other bios or foster children has to be okay too.

Cry for what you miss, but don’t miss out on loving him for who he is — trauma tantrums and all. 

To care for him and not your ego will mean many moments of not blending. 

You sit him on your lap and read his new library books before nap. You squeeze him tight. 

“Let’s do a new secret handshake next week that says, I’ll be the mom you need me to be.”

Sweet dreams.