5 Tips to Let Go of a Hard Support Appointment

You’ve had them — hard or awful support raising appointments. Your mind spins and you ask yourself, “Should I be in vocational ministry? Maybe I should start a coffee shop in my college town or find a job at my best friend’s company.”You could share many stories about the support appointments or phone calls that made you want to go to your room and suck your thumb. 😉

Painful support appointments are normal and part of the ministry gig. While you cannot control whether or not they happen, you have control over how you handle them.

Let’s dive into helpful tips that can take you from “I want to leave ministry” to “Yep, that happened, but let’s keep going.”

Ways to Unlock from a Hard Support Raising Appointment

1 | Get irreverent with Jesus

Pray when you get in your car or hang up your phone. You’re thinking, “Julie I already know that. Give me something more.” I will.

In this prayer cut the Christianeze and get super honest with Jesus for a least one minute. He can take it. No one can hear you let out a few screams with your car windows up.  

You can start with, “Jesus, this sucks. I just want to cry or punch something. I want to give up and leave ministry. I’m not cut out for this. Why did you call me to this? You know I lock on support appointments like this. Ugh. Help me get unstuck.

It’s really hard to be thankful for what happened. Show me even one thing I can be thankful about this appointment. Jesus, you are good even when I don’t see it. Amen.”

2 | Leave it vs. Lock it

Okay, the call or appointment went south. Your mind races. Get up and do something else. Go talk to your housemate or spouse. Watch some Youtube videos that make you cackle and smile. Call your best friend to get put your mind and thoughts in a different place. Take a walk or go to a kickboxing class.

You know what works for you. If not, ask yourself, “What helps me to unlock in these situations?” Go do those things.

I can lock on things too. What you think about grows. If you sit in your “Man, that was a bad support appointment, and these are all of the reasons why,” that will keep you locked and stuck.

There will be time to evaluate later. But when all you think about are the negatives, you can’t be objective and create solutions.

3 | Reflect on it

A day or two later when you have unlocked and gotten space from the interaction, take 30 minutes and reflect. Download the free (no email required) Head & Heart Guide. It gives you questions to ask yourself.

When we don’t reflect on difficult events, we repeat the actions or stay stuck.

Ask yourself, is this hard support appointment or phone call a pattern or a blip on my support raising screen? If it’s a pattern, what can you try the next time you get into this situation? If it’s a blip, what helps you view it as a blip and not a pattern?

4 | Read past prayer letters or notes from ministry partners

When hard support phone calls or appointments sideline us, you question if you are a good fit for ministry or loose passion and vision for your ministry. Re-read your past prayer letter about where God has worked. Look at emails or notes your current or past supporters have sent you.

If you are new to ministry and don’t have prayers letters or notes to read, re-tell yourself the God stories you share with potential ministry partners. Remind yourself of the “why” you went into full-time ministry.

5 | Call a ministry buddy

This is obvious, but we don’t always follow through with it, right? Involve a teammate in this process. He or she can give you feedback or suggestions for how to connect with the potential supporter in a different way.

You might not agree or do everything your teammate suggests, but one of their ideas could move you forward.

Which one of these action steps will you try the next time you have a difficult interaction with a potential or current supporter?